With Hesitant Stride - A Blog Novel - Excerpt 4
I found myself far less ruffled by the problems of work for the rest of the day. Issues cleared up, confusion became order, errors disappeared from my path, clutter organized. By the end of the day, I was happy, excited and eager to share my thoughts, feelings and fantasies with Jimmie. I sailed through the door at Harry's blind to the hubbub generated by almost two dozen Harry's regulars. With the crowding, I had to search a bit before I spotted my friend tucked into the booth far to the rear.
"What's up?" I asked as I slid in opposite him. "You're usually three booths closer to the door. Did you get hung up at work?"
"Yes. All I can figure is everyone wanted to head somewhere to discuss the news we got today. I almost joined in, but I decided to wait for you."
"Must be big news if it's got everyone so stirred up," I said, noticing for the first time the intensity and hostility emanating from the surrounding tables. "What'd they do down at City Hall, make budget cuts?"
"Who told you? And how did they know?"
"Hunh? You mean to tell me they are cutting the budget? Why? And how is this going to affect you?" I realized, rather late, that Jimmie was not the happy housemate I had expected to find.
"We all got told today that due to the State's finance problems, the second phase of it's cuts for aid to the cities is being enforced. Remember, the plan was that the cities would only have to endure these cuts for the first year - unless the Governor couldn't get the Legislature to pass all those 'austerity' measures. The last ones were voted down late last night. State notified us of the change in plans this morning."
"Okay. That still doesn't explain why City decided to announce budget cuts today. I mean, they just got notice of the problem; how did they decide what their course of action would be so fast?"
"As the managers explained in the meetings, these contingency plans were set up when they first learned of the Governor's proposal to implement a phased cutback of funding. We weren't told about them because everyone assumed the Legislature would get behind the Governor's State-level tax ideas and budget cuts," he said. "Now that we know these measures aren't going to be implemented, the Mayor and City Council have to make up for the additional lost revenue. They've decided to enforce a staggered-shift, four-day work week. We'll all be taking a 20% pay cut for the remainder of the year."
"Whoa!" I was stunned. "If I remember correctly, the County Commissioners made some sort of contingency plans back then, as well. City usually moves faster than County. So that means…"
"You'll probably be facing a similar cutback in hours and pay. There's no way we can reduce the benefits and direct services provided to city and county residents, so we'll be expected to make up the reduction by reducing administrative costs. And both you and I work in admin."
"Oh crud. And to think I was happy when I came in."
"Really? What had you feeling happy? Oh wait. Let me guess. The cause is spelled 'R-i-c-h-a-r-d'." He laughed. "Does this mean my little girl has finally found 'true love'?"
"You snot! I'm willing to swear on a stack of Bibles that you have never grown up! You're the pesky little brother I never had!" I tilted my nose up and sniffed. "I refuse to lower myself to your level. I am above such petty tomfoolery."
"Give me a break. You're wallowing in hormonal fever and the only thing that keeps you even relatively sane is my logic and rationality."
"This is what I so love about you, Jimmie, your commitment and stubborn inability to stop being an Egyptian."
"What," he huffed! "Are you trying to insinuate that I'm living in denial! I'll have you know that, today, and every other Thursday, I resemble that remark."
"And you do it so well, I'll treat you to another of whatever you're swilling and a snack. What'll you have?"
"In that case, I'll forego this cheap stuff and have a glass of Maker's Mark - and a fresh bowl of peanuts."
"Philistine. Everyone knows you eat pickled eggs with Maker's Mark. That way your taste buds are stunned enough to gag it down." As I flagged down the waitress and gave our order, I vaguely remembered having this discussion a very long time ago, I think it was just last week.
Once again I marveled at our friendship. First at how easy it had been for us to become friends. Then the speed with which we became housemates. Finally at our connection, which allowed us to co-exist so closely without constantly irritating each other. Living with Jimmie was a joy I treasured; so unlike my time with Alan. I realized part of the problem with the relationship between Alan and I was his need to dominate, but part of it was also the tension arising from his desire to have sex, every day, whether I was in the mood or not, and his unwillingness to make more than the barest effort to 'get me in the mood' as he was wont to describe the emotional side. As Jimmie was not interested in having sex with me, he was willing to spend more energy on simply being a friend. I wondered again whether only gay men could be 'just friends' with women.
"Getting back to the problem at hand…"
I turned my attention back to Jimmie. "What do you mean, problem at hand? City forcing you to work fewer hours or County probably planning the same for me."
"Not at all, those are mere inconveniences. I'm talking about getting you and Richard together. Did you see him today? Did you have a chance to get him alone; pounce on him?"
"Jimmie! I don't pounce. And yes I did manage to spend some time with Richard. We couldn't do lunch because he was tied up having lunch with the managers. We managed to sneak away during the morning break and have a cup of tea outside."
"You didn't force him to drink any of that herbal garbage, did you? How anyone can drink a soaking of mint, chamomille and ginger and call it tea, much less feel alert and refreshed after swilling it, is beyond my comprehension."
"Yes, well, we can't all be hard-core caffeine addicts such as yourself. What are you down to these days, a mere thirty cups of coffee per day, do I have that right?"
"I'll take that as a 'yes'. At least he had the pleasure of your company to distract him. Your presence did distract him, or is he, even now, being rushed to the hospital to have his stomach pumped?"
"Why James dear, one might believe you felt threatened by herbal tea. Surely you are not intimidated by a silly little beverage, now are you? I must, simply must teach you the error of your ways."
"Yes'm Miss Hardesty, I shorely do feel intimidated by such a Yankee concoction as herbal tea," he replied. "I do believe your tone suggests you and Richard had a good break together. Give! All the details."
"There's not much to tell, but yes, we did explore the possibility of he and I having a 'date' on Saturday evening. And I gave him my phone number." I smiled at the thought. "He's taking me to dinner."
"Dinner? On the first date? I am impressed. Did he mention where he's taking you, or are you going to lounge around half-dressed on Saturday, with several different outfits waiting for a clue."
"For a first date? I doubt it's going to be anywhere too expensive or fancy. After all, we don't know if we'll really like each other. He might decide to wow me with an expensive and refined restaurant, but I'll guess it will be mid-range. Tony Roma's rather than Balducci's or some equivalent."
"You might be right. However, I noticed he wears a Rolex. Men who wear Rolex aren't, in my experience, the kind to settle for Red Lobster or Denny's. Then again, he could surprise us both and take you out for a brat at a King's game."
Which, in my opinion, would be a stretch. I hoped Richard wasn't the kind of guy who build all of his 'romantic' assignations around sporting events. I'd had my fill of that with Alan.
"Maybe," I said, "but it has been a while since I've dated, so I could live with that as a 'first date'. I would hope if there are further dates, he will choose another type of eating experience." By now I'd finished my drink and we'd just about demolished the peanuts. "You want another or should we blow this joint?"
When we got home I checked the answering machine, not expecting Richard would have called, but hoping he had. My wish was fulfilled; the message indicator showed one message. With Jimmie crowding close to hear, I played the message. "Elaine, if you get this before 11, could you give me a call back?" Jimmie tapped me on the shoulder and made small shooing motions with one hand, so I dialed the number Richard had left.
"This is Richard Leonard, I'm not where I can reach the…" the message stopped and I heard, "Hello? I'm here…"
"Richard. Hi, it's Elaine; I just got home and caught your message. What's up?"
"Great! I was hoping it was you. Say, I know I promised a dinner date Saturday evening and I want to know if we could change it."
"Sure," I said, ignoring the prodding from my peanut gallery, "I understand, things come up. We can reschedule to Sunday or next week."
"Oh no, I wasn't trying to put it off, I just wanted to know if you had plans for Saturday morning. We'd have to get an early start, say around 7 AM. Would you be up for that?"
"Sounds intriguing. That would be fine. Is there anything else I need to know?"
"Yes, dress comfortable and you might want to bring a sweater. Oh, and I need to know how to get to your place."
"I live on 'S', just east of 26th, 2517 'S'. Can I know where we're going?"
"Nope. It's a surprise. But I think you'll enjoy yourself. Gotta go, I've got food on the stove."
"Bye," I said, hanging up the phone.
"That was interesting," Jimmie said as we headed to the kitchen. "I'd love to be a fly on the wall for this date."
"Thank goodness you won't be. I do believe I'm in for an adventure Saturday morning, so I'll be feeling very sorry for you, stuck here, all alone, pining away for your friend."
"Sure, you say that now, but I bet you won't waste a single minute on poor little me when you're out there having fun. Never mind," he said, tossing his head, "I'll be fine. No need to worry about me. I can handle the rejection. I'm not the drama queen in this household."
Which was a good line, but Jimmie was all drama queen when it suited him - usually when he was trolling for lovers. He loved to play the role. I laughed at him and pitched in to get dinner.
***
Friday went by in a blur, one part eager anticipation, another hurry to get the last of the week's work done so I wouldn't feel guilty over the weekend, a third spent discussing with my co-workers the increasing likelihood of County forcing cuts in work hours to keep the budget under control. I saw Richard, twice, both times we waved and smiled, but I could see he was as busy as I. Getting done and heading to Harry's put a punctuation on the day.
Later, at home, Jimmie and I mulled over the changes on our jobs and spent the rest of the evening deciding upon an outfit for my date.
***
"What's up?" I asked as I slid in opposite him. "You're usually three booths closer to the door. Did you get hung up at work?"
"Yes. All I can figure is everyone wanted to head somewhere to discuss the news we got today. I almost joined in, but I decided to wait for you."
"Must be big news if it's got everyone so stirred up," I said, noticing for the first time the intensity and hostility emanating from the surrounding tables. "What'd they do down at City Hall, make budget cuts?"
"Who told you? And how did they know?"
"Hunh? You mean to tell me they are cutting the budget? Why? And how is this going to affect you?" I realized, rather late, that Jimmie was not the happy housemate I had expected to find.
"We all got told today that due to the State's finance problems, the second phase of it's cuts for aid to the cities is being enforced. Remember, the plan was that the cities would only have to endure these cuts for the first year - unless the Governor couldn't get the Legislature to pass all those 'austerity' measures. The last ones were voted down late last night. State notified us of the change in plans this morning."
"Okay. That still doesn't explain why City decided to announce budget cuts today. I mean, they just got notice of the problem; how did they decide what their course of action would be so fast?"
"As the managers explained in the meetings, these contingency plans were set up when they first learned of the Governor's proposal to implement a phased cutback of funding. We weren't told about them because everyone assumed the Legislature would get behind the Governor's State-level tax ideas and budget cuts," he said. "Now that we know these measures aren't going to be implemented, the Mayor and City Council have to make up for the additional lost revenue. They've decided to enforce a staggered-shift, four-day work week. We'll all be taking a 20% pay cut for the remainder of the year."
"Whoa!" I was stunned. "If I remember correctly, the County Commissioners made some sort of contingency plans back then, as well. City usually moves faster than County. So that means…"
"You'll probably be facing a similar cutback in hours and pay. There's no way we can reduce the benefits and direct services provided to city and county residents, so we'll be expected to make up the reduction by reducing administrative costs. And both you and I work in admin."
"Oh crud. And to think I was happy when I came in."
"Really? What had you feeling happy? Oh wait. Let me guess. The cause is spelled 'R-i-c-h-a-r-d'." He laughed. "Does this mean my little girl has finally found 'true love'?"
"You snot! I'm willing to swear on a stack of Bibles that you have never grown up! You're the pesky little brother I never had!" I tilted my nose up and sniffed. "I refuse to lower myself to your level. I am above such petty tomfoolery."
"Give me a break. You're wallowing in hormonal fever and the only thing that keeps you even relatively sane is my logic and rationality."
"This is what I so love about you, Jimmie, your commitment and stubborn inability to stop being an Egyptian."
"What," he huffed! "Are you trying to insinuate that I'm living in denial! I'll have you know that, today, and every other Thursday, I resemble that remark."
"And you do it so well, I'll treat you to another of whatever you're swilling and a snack. What'll you have?"
"In that case, I'll forego this cheap stuff and have a glass of Maker's Mark - and a fresh bowl of peanuts."
"Philistine. Everyone knows you eat pickled eggs with Maker's Mark. That way your taste buds are stunned enough to gag it down." As I flagged down the waitress and gave our order, I vaguely remembered having this discussion a very long time ago, I think it was just last week.
Once again I marveled at our friendship. First at how easy it had been for us to become friends. Then the speed with which we became housemates. Finally at our connection, which allowed us to co-exist so closely without constantly irritating each other. Living with Jimmie was a joy I treasured; so unlike my time with Alan. I realized part of the problem with the relationship between Alan and I was his need to dominate, but part of it was also the tension arising from his desire to have sex, every day, whether I was in the mood or not, and his unwillingness to make more than the barest effort to 'get me in the mood' as he was wont to describe the emotional side. As Jimmie was not interested in having sex with me, he was willing to spend more energy on simply being a friend. I wondered again whether only gay men could be 'just friends' with women.
"Getting back to the problem at hand…"
I turned my attention back to Jimmie. "What do you mean, problem at hand? City forcing you to work fewer hours or County probably planning the same for me."
"Not at all, those are mere inconveniences. I'm talking about getting you and Richard together. Did you see him today? Did you have a chance to get him alone; pounce on him?"
"Jimmie! I don't pounce. And yes I did manage to spend some time with Richard. We couldn't do lunch because he was tied up having lunch with the managers. We managed to sneak away during the morning break and have a cup of tea outside."
"You didn't force him to drink any of that herbal garbage, did you? How anyone can drink a soaking of mint, chamomille and ginger and call it tea, much less feel alert and refreshed after swilling it, is beyond my comprehension."
"Yes, well, we can't all be hard-core caffeine addicts such as yourself. What are you down to these days, a mere thirty cups of coffee per day, do I have that right?"
"I'll take that as a 'yes'. At least he had the pleasure of your company to distract him. Your presence did distract him, or is he, even now, being rushed to the hospital to have his stomach pumped?"
"Why James dear, one might believe you felt threatened by herbal tea. Surely you are not intimidated by a silly little beverage, now are you? I must, simply must teach you the error of your ways."
"Yes'm Miss Hardesty, I shorely do feel intimidated by such a Yankee concoction as herbal tea," he replied. "I do believe your tone suggests you and Richard had a good break together. Give! All the details."
"There's not much to tell, but yes, we did explore the possibility of he and I having a 'date' on Saturday evening. And I gave him my phone number." I smiled at the thought. "He's taking me to dinner."
"Dinner? On the first date? I am impressed. Did he mention where he's taking you, or are you going to lounge around half-dressed on Saturday, with several different outfits waiting for a clue."
"For a first date? I doubt it's going to be anywhere too expensive or fancy. After all, we don't know if we'll really like each other. He might decide to wow me with an expensive and refined restaurant, but I'll guess it will be mid-range. Tony Roma's rather than Balducci's or some equivalent."
"You might be right. However, I noticed he wears a Rolex. Men who wear Rolex aren't, in my experience, the kind to settle for Red Lobster or Denny's. Then again, he could surprise us both and take you out for a brat at a King's game."
Which, in my opinion, would be a stretch. I hoped Richard wasn't the kind of guy who build all of his 'romantic' assignations around sporting events. I'd had my fill of that with Alan.
"Maybe," I said, "but it has been a while since I've dated, so I could live with that as a 'first date'. I would hope if there are further dates, he will choose another type of eating experience." By now I'd finished my drink and we'd just about demolished the peanuts. "You want another or should we blow this joint?"
When we got home I checked the answering machine, not expecting Richard would have called, but hoping he had. My wish was fulfilled; the message indicator showed one message. With Jimmie crowding close to hear, I played the message. "Elaine, if you get this before 11, could you give me a call back?" Jimmie tapped me on the shoulder and made small shooing motions with one hand, so I dialed the number Richard had left.
"This is Richard Leonard, I'm not where I can reach the…" the message stopped and I heard, "Hello? I'm here…"
"Richard. Hi, it's Elaine; I just got home and caught your message. What's up?"
"Great! I was hoping it was you. Say, I know I promised a dinner date Saturday evening and I want to know if we could change it."
"Sure," I said, ignoring the prodding from my peanut gallery, "I understand, things come up. We can reschedule to Sunday or next week."
"Oh no, I wasn't trying to put it off, I just wanted to know if you had plans for Saturday morning. We'd have to get an early start, say around 7 AM. Would you be up for that?"
"Sounds intriguing. That would be fine. Is there anything else I need to know?"
"Yes, dress comfortable and you might want to bring a sweater. Oh, and I need to know how to get to your place."
"I live on 'S', just east of 26th, 2517 'S'. Can I know where we're going?"
"Nope. It's a surprise. But I think you'll enjoy yourself. Gotta go, I've got food on the stove."
"Bye," I said, hanging up the phone.
"That was interesting," Jimmie said as we headed to the kitchen. "I'd love to be a fly on the wall for this date."
"Thank goodness you won't be. I do believe I'm in for an adventure Saturday morning, so I'll be feeling very sorry for you, stuck here, all alone, pining away for your friend."
"Sure, you say that now, but I bet you won't waste a single minute on poor little me when you're out there having fun. Never mind," he said, tossing his head, "I'll be fine. No need to worry about me. I can handle the rejection. I'm not the drama queen in this household."
Which was a good line, but Jimmie was all drama queen when it suited him - usually when he was trolling for lovers. He loved to play the role. I laughed at him and pitched in to get dinner.
***
Friday went by in a blur, one part eager anticipation, another hurry to get the last of the week's work done so I wouldn't feel guilty over the weekend, a third spent discussing with my co-workers the increasing likelihood of County forcing cuts in work hours to keep the budget under control. I saw Richard, twice, both times we waved and smiled, but I could see he was as busy as I. Getting done and heading to Harry's put a punctuation on the day.
Later, at home, Jimmie and I mulled over the changes on our jobs and spent the rest of the evening deciding upon an outfit for my date.
***
posted by Derek A Benner | 11:02 AM
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